song against sex

Day 24: The stupidest argument/comment you’ve heard about gay people or an LGBT issue

How to pick just one?! Okay, if I had to narrow it down to a top three, I’d say:

  • Gay parents will churn out gay children.
  • Gay marriage will destroy the family, the country, and the world.
  • Tradition.

EDIT: I wrote this post before the work night when we all had this huge political argument, and now have a few additions:

  • Tab A, Slot B.

THIS from a straight guy who says he’s pro-choice and he doesn’t care what people do in the bedroom.

  • It’s a choice.

THIS from a straight guy who said yes, he chose to be straight, and his choice deserves legal rights whereas other choices don’t.

  • It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

THIS from a straight girl who denied being religious and claimed to be glad that the US isn’t a theocracy.

I work with a bunch of nincompoops!

You can read the full challenge here on Fuck Yeah LGBT. :)


Day 7: How your parents took it or how you think they might take it

I haven’t told them and I’m not planning on it anytime soon. It’d be nice to have someone close to home who understands me, but at this point I’m not holding my breath.

  • My mother was bitching one day about a young bride who dared to wear jean shorts to her wedding reception, and I was in a pretty mellow mood so I simply said, “To each her own.” She then shot me the dirtiest look I can ever remember getting from her, and she said, “Well, I certainly hope YOU don’t plan on dressing like that for YOUR wedding reception!” Still mellow, still chill, I said, “Yeah, well, I don’t think I want to get married anyway, so you don’t have to worry about it.” She just about hit the roof.
  • My father found the link to this blog on my Facebook one night and barged into my room the next morning to wake me up and demand that I take it down. The link, that is. Thankfully he didn’t realize it’s my blog. Even though it has my name all over it, yeah. I believe his exact words were, “You need to take that asexual website down today. I was reading on it and it was pretty gross. You might agree with some of the things on there, but I found some things on there that NO ONE in this family would approve of. So take it down, or you’ll lose your internet privileges.” WTF.

You can read the full challenge here on Fuck Yeah LGBT. :)

Day 6: Did you face any problems regarding religion?
June 28, 2010, 11:30 pm
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Some people really, really take Genesis 9.7 to heart. [“As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it.”] Some people, including the Pope, apparently, have a problem with individuals choosing to neglect their “God-given sexuality.” Ironically, most of these people are also the first to condemn people who express their sexuality in ways they don’t personally approve.

Anyway, while I’ve had someone tell me that I’m “unnatural” and “against God” because I’m not attracted to anyone and uninterested in sex, we aces haven’t got it nearly as bad as some other minority orientations out there. I mean, we’re still allowed to marry, at least half the time.

You can read the full challenge here on Fuck Yeah LGBT. :)

ALERT: Fundie on the loose!
April 11, 2010, 8:17 pm
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Soooo a guy I know (already a very “manly” kind of guy–if he has more masculinity to share with the world, I honestly don’t know where he’s going to keep it all) posted this on Facebook: “I’m releasing the lion that the world told me to keep caged… I refuse to calculate and avoid risks, I denounce the life of security and safety, I will no longer apologize for my masculinity… For my very nature. I seek the wild and unknown. Like the lion groans for freedom every night, so to does a man’s heart!”

Personally I’m not big on traditional gender roles, but I AM big on people being themselves. If an individual feels more “masculine” or “feminine” (according to society’s definitions) then bully for them. This, though, isn’t just a person accepting himself and his gender identity; it hits me as an open declaration of aggression and domination of his biological sex over mine.

So then I posted (a bit passive-aggressively, I’ll admit) that I would no longer apologize for my androgyny. He commented back:

“…And you shouldn’t have to apologize for whatever disease or fungus or whatever you say you have, Talia. Just get it taken care of and save us the details! :p”

Okay, yeah, thanks.

Coming out is hard to do.
April 1, 2010, 4:33 am
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[/Neil Sedaka]

The first (okay, the only) time I told someone, in person, that I thought I might be asexual, she looked at me like I’d just fell through the ceiling from Mars. That was over two years ago.

The next time I spoke up, it was to what you would probably call my internet friends. I love them dearly. They love me dearly. They don’t feel like “internet friends” to me. We’ve known and loved each other for years. They were curious and incredulous (“what?! you don’t think sex is fun?!”), but they never made me feel invalidated or somehow ashamed of myself. I’ve never been sorry I told them.

Yesterday, asexuality came up in the conversation with a friend, and I identified myself as such. On Facebook chat, so at least I got to keep myself to myself as the discussion progressed…Initially, he said, “Have fun with that :) although, I’m not sure how you could XD kidding!” Moments later, when I lamented a missed encounter (so says Craigslist), I said I comforted myself with the probability that this missed-encounter fellow is a fan of sex anyway, therefore we’d be incompatible. The friend goes: “(sigh) that’s not a belief I’m fully in support of…”

Me: “specify.”

“I don’t believe in asexuality”

“but how can you not? i mean why is that hard to accept?”

“I dunno, it seems to go against God and nature, but I’m not one to judge”

“there are asexual animals even. there’s a whole species of ants with no males whatsoever; they reproduce by cloning. not many animals, granted, but not many people either. and i can tell you that it’s my personal nature. “miss awkward” at slumber parties, for sure.”

“But that’s a whole different genetic makeup designed to be asexual*, and there are a good amount of species like that, as well as those who can change gender when needed, but humans themselves are not designed for such
To put it bluntly, Tab A goes in Slot B”

“if people can accept that there are people with high levels of interest ranging to people with low levels of interest, i don’t see why it’s hard to accept that there can be people with none at all. it’s a bell curve for a reason.
and quite honestly, that grosses me out. i’m not kidding.”

“I’m not saying I can’t accept it!”

“haha you just said you don’t believe it!”

“You always attack when I defend both sides…I said I don’t believe IN it”

“i’m not attacking anyone!”

“you’re arguing with me, when I’m just defending/explaining both sides!”

“i don’t really see any ‘both sides’. i apologize, i’m really not being argumentative. mayhap it’s the translation through the internet? um..”

“I’m just making sure both sides get equal representation, I could honestly care less (shrug)”

“ummmm okay.”

=                =                =                =              =

So thank you, “friend,” for making me feel like crap last night. I appreciated it SO much. I don’t know why I even apologized to you, since I actually wasn’t arguing or trying to push some kind of “agenda” on you. I don’t see “two sides” to this “issue,” and actually the longer you went on, the more offended I became. Something I was born with is anti-God and against nature? Oh, but thank you for being SO slow to judge! Dodging my questions with personal attacks, how pleasant of you. But I think the worst thing you said was also the last: “I could honestly care less (shrug)”Umm, yeah, that was pretty obvious by the utterly insensitive (and quite frankly, RUDE) way you spoke to me. I suppose I could understand this a little more had we been talking about, say, homosexuality–something that doesn’t affect either one of us directly, with respect to our own orientations–I’m pretty certain our feelings on this matter as well are very different, but I can imagine this conversation in a context where you automatically assume that I agree with you that homosexuality is “wrong.” You become defensive when I don’t back you up, and then you shrug off the whole deal because hey, it’s nothing to you. And in a way, it would be nothing tome. Except, you know, how much I love humanity, and that includes the gay people. I’ve known plenty of people like this. I wouldn’t have been the least surprised, although I would have been disappointed in you. I just can’t believe you’d say something like this directly to the person in question.

So, thanks. I guess. In a Groucho Marx kind of way. It’s okay, I got the memo, don’t worry. I will definitely not attempt to share this important aspect of myself with any of my “church friends” for quite some time. Or really, a better way to say it would be: I’ll make sure to actively suppress this important aspect of myself, to purposely hide myself from my friends. Then I can feel even more isolated! Yay! I’ve had enough judgement to last me a while.

In other words, in case you haven’t got it by now: You suck. Regardless of your opinions, you suck at friendship.

*There are also animals–just random animals, you know, rats, sheep–who appear to be asexual. Certain individuals repeatedly shun sexual activity with fellow members of their species, hetero- OR homo-. Look it up.

Originally published September 22, 2009